Something Must Be Done!
by charlouis
Summary: Voldemort hears Justin Bieber's music for the first time, and he decides that something must be done!


Voldemort sat at his table, eating a sandwich that Bellatrix had so graciously made him.

"Bella!" he called to his most loyal servant.

"Yes, my lord?" she said as she entered the room, her frizzy black hair framing her gaunt, pale face with the wild, dark eyes and half-curved mouth.

"Put on that Muggle contraption! That, er... What's it called?" he demanded, pointing to the "thing" on the side table.

"I've heard it's called a radio, my lord," Bellatrix replied, hastily moving to the side table where the radio sat.

"Well, put it on, then!" the Dark Lord demanded again.

As soon as Bellatrix pressed the "on" button, a terrible noise blasted out of it:

_"Baby, baby, baby, oh! Like baby, baby, baby, no! I thought you'd always be mine, mine!"_

"HOLY HALF-BLOODS BELLATRIX WHAT IN THE NAME OF SALAZAR SLYTHERIN IS THAT WRETCHED NOISE?" Voldemort screamed, the expression on his pale face filled with anger and annoyance.

"It's... Justin Bieber, my lord, the one who sings like a little girl," Bellatrix replied.

_"Baby, baby, baby, oh! Baby, baby, baby, no!"_

"TURN IT OFF BELLA!" he yelled again.

"Yes, my lord!" Bellatrix scrambled to press the "off" button.

"Something must be done about this!" Voldemort exclaimed. "We must destroy that disgrace to our world! That Justin - Beaver, was it? - is WORSE than Mudbloods!"

Bellatrix's eyes widened eagerly. "May I torture him to death, my lord?"

"We shall see! But first, summon the other Death Eaters, Bella, and we shall come up with a brilliant plan to end this monstrosity!" Voldemort ordered.

"Yes, my lord," Bellatrix moaned greedily her eyes still very wide, making her look even more crazed.

"This creature is as terrible, if not worse, than that Potter boy," Voldemort grumbled to himself as Bellatrix pressed her fingers to the Dark Mark on her left forearm.

"Yes, my lord, we shall once again have our way, won't we?" Bellatrix said, stepping closer to her master and showing him the writhing serpent tattoo on her arm.

"Hmm," he agreed. He then went back to finish his sandwich, but his plate was empty.

"I must have finished it," he grumbled very quietly to himself.

"What was that, my lord?" Bellatrix asked eagerly; she was quite keen to serve her beloved master.

"I need a favor, Bella," he said without emotion.

"Name it, my lord, and it is done," she replied.

"Make me another sandwich!" he ordered loudly, holding out his plate for her to take.

"Yes, anything for you," Bellatrix said.

"I cannot make murder plans on an empty stomach," he said with an evil grin.

At this, Bellatrix cackled crazily. The anticipation of the coming murder thrilled her so. She couldn't wait to watch the stupid creature's body suspended in mid-air, writhing in pain, as she cackled and flicked her wand hand and made it worse.

'The Art of Killing,' she called it all. In her eyes, nothing was more beautiful.

"Crucio!" she whisper-sang to herself as she prepared Voldemort's sandwich. "My favorite curse. Can't wait to use it on that Muggle," she laughed very quietly to herself.

~•~•~•~

"Welcome, all of you. We are gathered here today to plan the murder of Justin Beaver," Voldemort announced to his Death Eaters with a proud, evil sort of grin on his nose-less face.

After explaining the procedure to his followers, Voldemort and his Death Eaters Apparated to the front of the theatre where the disgusting creature was performing.

"How will we get in? We never discussed that, my lord!" Dolohov said.

"I could - *ahem* - "deal with" the guard," Greyback suggested, and his eyes widened as he licked his lips savagely.

"No!" Voldemort said firmly to them. "Imperio!" he whispered, and instantly the nature of the security guard changed.

"Go on! Go on!" he said pleasantly, ushering them in.

The Death Eaters sat in the front row.

"Now, when I say 'go,' you will follow me up those stairs. Bella, you will NOT kill the guards! You will simply 'Stupefy' them! Understood?" Voldemort demanded. "Only one will die tonight."

"Yes, my lord," Bellatrix replied, rather disappointedly.

The concert began about a half-hour later.

"When is the time, my lord?" Bella asked eagerly. "Do we torture him first?" There was a malicious gleam in her eyes as she said this.

"As you wish, Bella," he granted her permission.

~•~•~•~

"I've heard enough of this crap!" Voldemort said angrily.

All the stupid creature DID up on that stage was dance like a fool and sing like a little girl. And why this made those millions of young girls in the stands scream and cry like he was murdering all of them, was completely beyond him.

"It's time. GET ON THAT STAGE!" Voldemort roared to his Death Eaters.

They marched out of their rows, stunning anyone or anything that got in their way.

When they got up on the stage, a snazzy tune started playing, and suddenly, Voldemort found himself unable to stop dancing!

The Death Eaters thought that their master was just trying to act casual, so they began to dance, too!

Voldemort danced his way over to Justin Bieber, who was singing to some girl sitting on a stool. Justin didn't even notice Voldy until he tapped him on the shoulder.

Justin stopped singing, and he laughed, "Dude, where's you're nose?"

"Alright, that's enough! I'm done with you, girl-"

"But I'm a guy!" Justin protested.

"That's impossible! Now AVADA KEDAVRA!" Voldemort screamed angrily.

The horrible thing lay motionless on the stage. And the entire place was silent.

"My lord," Bellatrix said quietly. He stood there with a grin and he was panting heavily.

Then, the sound of crying girls erupted, and Bellatrix screamed to Voldemort, "MY LORD WE SHOULD GET OUT OF HERE!"

And the Death Eaters Apparated back to Voldemort's secret house, reflecting on their successful day.

"You know, Bella," Voldemort said. "Beaver-boy was starting to grow on me a bit. Maybe we shouldn't have killed it..."

At this, Bellatrix turned on the radio, and out blasted the horrible sound again:

_"Baby, baby, baby, OH!"_

"NO TURN IT OFF I'M GLAD IT'S DEAD!" Voldemort bellowed over the sound.

And so their day went on as normally for them as any other "killing-spree" day, while the rest of the world mourned the "tragic loss" of the little boy with the girly voice.


End file.
